"Good Morning. I'm Balthazar......"

Tessie started out rolling her own hair to go under the dryer this morning. I painted the rollers puce just for her. I won't show you the photos of her shampooing....The words "drowned rat" come to mind....

Had I known that she was serious about using the new hair dryer, I would have elasticized the bonnet. As it was, I had to take out the thread and run some elastic thread around the edge.

When she finished rolling it, the trouble started.

I heard someone say in a very formal voice, "Good Morning. I'm Balthazar. I will be your stylist today."

He beamed at her and plonked the bonnet from the hair dryer over the curlers. He had to improvise a stand for the dryer higher than her head to get it to work.

First he suggested that she sit on the floor and put the dryer on the chair......

You know how that goes. The indignity of it all!....Tessie was in a snit before he finished the sentence. What I don't understand is, her surroundings were the same as they were minutes ago when she rolled her own hair. Her lower lip went out in a pout and she hissed through her teeth, "What kind of a salon is this? How dare you ask me to sit on the floor?!?"

Zar knew better than to argue. He dragged in her director's chair and placed it behind her easy chair. He piled a foot stool on top of the chair and her box from the other hair dryer on top of that to make the whole thing high enough.

Then he opined, "If you would have let me make you a steam powered, gear driven, dryer, you wouldn't have this problem. The dryer could have had a much longer hose.....Granted it would take longer to dry your hair and it would probably be frizzy when it was done, but it would work better."

No more words from Tessie. She just sat there, her lips in a thin, grim line and glared at him for the thirty minutes that it took to dry her hair.

He returned, with comb in hand, to finish the job. (I was still trying to figure out how he got the title "hair stylist".)

He at least was gentle....I didn't hear one "Ouch!" or "That hurt!" from Tessie. She simply sat there twiddling her thumbs throughout the process.

By this time, I was suspicious that Zar had used his mesmerizer before starting the job.

When the job was finished, he put Spike in her lap, so that she wouldn't be able to jump up or use her hands. Zar may be a lot of things, but he's not stupid.

Then and only then, he let her look in the mirror.

"It's really pretty. So different than what I usually do." murmured Tessie.

With that, I knew that something was fishy. Look at that hair do and tell me that there is even one hair that has changed.......You can't and neither can I.

"Zar! Where did you hide the mesmerizer? I don't want Tessie in a trance for the rest of the day......No wait.....She's happy, right?" I said....Then...."Balthazar, you should change professions. The way you do hair is amazing!"

Hmmmmm.....Steampunk hair dryer? Interesting......

See you tomorrow.